Just fell off a train. Bad.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
How does one acquire holy water?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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