dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
