I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
