sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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