You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
