I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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