I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
