You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
My day in three words: secret purse cake
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
