It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
