SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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