I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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