the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
