I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize