I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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