If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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