considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
