these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
