so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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