I love watching others lives come down to our level.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
