I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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