if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i will never coherently bang her
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
