Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
