it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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