D3 body, D1 cock
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Send help, water and tortillas.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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