Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize