He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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