Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize