So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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