Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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