Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
