OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
