Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Send help, water and tortillas.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
