Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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