Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
They have beer where we have blood.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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