how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i came on her dog
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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