bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize