I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
