My hand turned me down
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
