I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
