You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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