im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize