i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
