So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
