Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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