Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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