I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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