Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
