i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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