I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
