Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
