I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
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i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
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i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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