yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
