smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
