I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
