we have pet lesbian snakes
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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