so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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