This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize