and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
