i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
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she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
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Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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